I’m leaving social media. No, I mean it this time. And I know if you’re reading this, you most likely got the link on FB so I get the irony. But enough is enough! (*angrily rebuking myself in a mirror*) It’s time for a shift. As midlife readjustments go, I’m hoping this wil be a positive one. And that it will stick.

And why? I’m tired of scrolling. Like, literally. I’ve got inflamation in both my hands and it hurts to type on my phone and to use my thumbs. A furious 20 minute session of judging on Facebook sends shooting pains through my joints. An afternoon of leering over other people’s interior choices can leave me unable to pick up a glass. I need to conserve energy and give my poor mits some respite.

Secondly, the ol’ socials are bad for my brain and mental health. The algorithm is feeding me piles of gloom. Granted, I like to stay informed about politics and current affairs, but there is so much darkness around right now. Reform used to be a progressive word but now it makes me shudder. The world is grim and we’re all doomed…or so the feed would have me believe.

Much has been said about the damage social media is doing to our children, but what about menopausal brain cells? I think they deserve equal attention. I can’t say with scientific certainty that my facultues have been affected but I know my attention span is less than it used to be and my curiosity levels have waned in recent years. I do wonder how much I crave external validation. Or maybe not validation but witness? Like I can’t fully process my thoughts in the echoing privacy of my own skull. Posting online somehow underlines and cements my beliefs.

Lastly, social platforms are shop windows that cause my FOMO to work overtime. My folder of saved reels and inspo is busting. Macrame wall hangings…vegan cheese recipes…the top 5 glute exercises for women in their 50s…I do not have the capacity to explore these beyond a well meaning nod when I occasionally scroll through my growing collection…and ponder why these posts warranted a save in the first place. Of course, it’s all down to dopamine – a flurry of excitement at a pink velvet scatter cushion, the surge of love at another set of cute doggy twins – but just knowing this isn’t enough to curb the habit. There’s also data worries, phone eavesdropping and hypnotic targetted advertising (possibly paranoid theories I picked up online). I’ve considered a digital detox or wondered if taking up some other hobby would help but I think I need a complete and radical rewire.

Truth is, I want to get reaquainted with boredom. With silence  and doing nothing. Occasionally, I want to have empty hands. And a clear mind. To rest in complete stillness, free from ruminating, ranting or planning. I don’t want to be productive all the time. I don’t want to stay switched on, open all hours to the flow of news and discourse and gadgets and viral noise that floods the airwaves and net. I want to be update and meme-free.

(Some of the time. I also want to free up time to write, read through my massive library of books, do jigsaws and sleep.)

I have wondered how I’ll stay in touch with all the friends I have on socials. Honestly, most of my friends have my phone number, especially if they knew me back in the good old days. But for anyone who wants to keep exchanging messages, you’re welcome to become a pen pal – yes, pen and paper – and drop me a message via Theatre In Flow – I love writing so not a chore at all.  Or follow this blog and respond to a post. I’d really like to lean into more in-person stuff. Dinners, picnics, sharing meals, days out, walks, social embodied connection. Discussion over one-sided opinion, compassion over rage-bait. I want to get back to being sociable again. As an introvert, I don’t particularly like talking that much but I do like being around people if our gathering has a purpose.

Anyway, I hope that makes sense. On Sunday 25th October, I’ll download stuff off my socials and set my  accounts to private (so I can still use connected business accounts). I do hope you’ll stay in touch even though it will undoubtedly take me longer to respond.