Photo by Mike Lewis
Friday night musings…
It’s Friday night and I’m laid on my sofa. It’s been an average week for me…delivered some training, coached a few clients, tried to avoid paperwork, failed at recording my macros, avoided opening my delivery of AG1 (green vitamins), drank too much chai. Same old same old. Attempted to catch up on some course work…
I’m tired of being scared…
Years ago, I remember hearing, ‘If you can’t beat fear, do it scared.’ This much parroted quote, attributed to Glennon Doyle Melton, has been used in a multitude of settings – self-help groups, therapy rooms, life-coaching seminars, board meetings, pulpits – to spur the listener to move from a place of stuckness towards that thing…
The Biscuit Index
My husband recently created a Facebook post in support of my son’s maths development. It asked our FB friends to vote on their favourite biscuits, so Zi could create a tally chart, pictogram and bar chart. We hoped to get about 20 responses so he could create a credible diagram (the home-schooling police might need…
A short rant about getting paid…
One of the toughest things about being a freelancer is the waiting. To hear back about commissions, auditions, applications, bids, or just from people who have promised they will call or email. Occasionally, it feels like you’re in a toxic relationship with someone who insists they love you despite the fact that they regularly stand…
Mental Health First Aid
In 2010, I was diagnosed with stress-induced psychosis. I’d been experiencing a range of symptoms for several months, including hearing voices, large gaps in my memory and passing out so I went to my doctor expecting confirmation that I had epilepsy. After a number of scans, blood tests and a couple short GP consults, I…
How do you sing in a storm?
As understatements go, saying that this has been a bad year rates pretty high. I’ve almost run out of metaphors to describe the sheer awfulness of it all. I’ve spent months now eating my feelings, resisting the urge to turn to the giant glasses of Malbec that used to temper my nerves on a nightly…
This season defies description…
…but I will try. I woke up this morning feeling particularly lacklustre. I checked my phone and read some more disheartening crap about the Corona virus and the new raft of lockdown confusions. Swipe. Trump is still setting fire to the States but has emerged from the flames as some born again messiah (read: fascist).…
Words And Petitions
This week, along with packing (just 1 week left in Bristol!), I’ve been delivering training in anti-racist practice via Zoom. It’s a weird thing discussing race online. I’m one of those people who likes to read body language, who needs to sit in silence occasionally and pause before contributing, which can be difficult when the…
Very unattractive
I think I was 17 when I saw my first pasty-looking penis. It was unremarkable (the penis and the event) – I’d just started a full-time job as a Care Assistant in a Nursing home, and it’s fair to say most of my days were filled with all shapes and types of flaccid. Any lingering…
Today is a good day.
So today, I had an epiphany. It’s my 15th since lockdown. It’s what I do these days, sit idly in my damp garden waiting for bolts of existential lightening to hit me. Actually, I was sitting because I’d attempted to skip, which came after two epiphanies (or epiphani?) I had last week about (i) needing…
Can we hug?
One of things I’ve really missed about lockdown and social distancing is being able to hug. I’m a hugger. I’m not one of those people who forces myself on work colleagues (I know all about boundaries, folks!) or squashes my ample self onto strangers, but nonetheless, I appreciate the value of a well placed embrace.…
On grieving…
For many, the lifting of certain lockdown restrictions has meant a return to semi normality, and the conversation has shifted in the direction of equality and the battle for civil rights. Everyone seems to be talking about Black Lives Matter. Equally true is that for those of us who are black, this is not new.…
Stunned silence
(Trigger Warning: suicide) I’ll never forget watching scenes of the terrorist attacks on 11th September 2001. I was at a church conference and it was break time. Delegates were stood around watching the news on a large screen, frozen in horror as we witnessed the second plane hit the towers. There was something distinctly surreal about…
Creating through the seasons
This past few weeks has been hideous. A strong word amongst so many other words I could use to describe this season. Death, threat, anger, pain. So much grieving going on for the black community at the moment, it’s hard to know where to start in unpacking it all. It’s definitely something I will write…
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The Flow 