One of the toughest things about being a freelancer is the waiting. To hear back about commissions, auditions, applications, bids, or just from people who have promised they will call or email. Occasionally, it feels like you’re in a toxic relationship with someone who insists they love you despite the fact that they regularly stand you up, ignore your calls, get romantic with old flames (while you watch) and then gaslight you when you say they’re behaving badly – which you hardly ever say, because (and this is the worse type of waiting) they always owe you money. 

On paper, I have money. Sometimes lots of it. I should (I hate ‘shoulds’ but I’m making a point) be able to eat out a couple times a month, pay my bills without checking my bank balance, treat myself occasionally to new shoes, have a gym membership – shit, I should be able to buy sourdough bread, shop at The White Company and get my vits from Holland & Barrett (I am that person). The truth is, I’m often anxious about how I’m going to make ends meet or whether or not I can fill the car up, basically because some finance department won’t pay me. I’ve done the work, sent off the report, delivered the workshop, or written the script but then there seems to be this disconnect between the people who friended me, invited me in and said ‘thank you’ on completion, and the people who need to press ‘send’ in the finance team. Last year, I did some work for a local authority who took 6 months to pay me. Which employee could stand to wait that long? Why do we have different rules for freelance labour? 

I’m 51 years old and have worked solidly since I was 18. I have never been unemployed or on benefits* – I’ve been lucky and consider myself privileged. I’m also married to someone who works full-time, so we have more than one income coming in. 

And still, it feels hard. Without credit cards (and a mum, who quite frankly, should get an award for her services to saving and bailing her children out) I would be up that smelly creek way too often, and yet even this is a privilege some others don’t have.

It’s not lost on me that so many people are struggling. January is a particularly hard month for many, while for others it is just another difficult milestone amidst years of grinding poverty. I don’t really consider myself hard done by – but I do feel pissed off that these systems, that should serve the growing self-employed infrastructure, just keep failing so badly and it’s not consequence free. I can’t save, am always playing catch-up, and have low level stress always hovering, like white noise spoiling a tune. What I would like to see is:

• Set pay days for freelance labour
• More partial payment in advance (my favourite clients do this)
• A proper introduction to the finance team and a named contact
• Automatic late invoice payment enhancement eg. 10% uplift
• Non punitive complaint procedures eg. I won’t lose work if I call you out

Just to say, I like being self-employed. I don’t have a boss, but I have loads of brilliant relationships. I choose where I work, who I work with and what I focus on. I have creative freedom. Most clients are brilliant. 

I still want to get paid though. Please.

*No shade to those on benefits. I grew up on benefits, so in one sense, I’ve benefitted from the benefit system. There’s obvs no shame in being on benefits (how many times can I use ‘benefits’?) or being under-employed. It is what it is until it isn’t. I was just making the (clumsy) point that this struggle is broader than just those deemed to be on low incomes.

_{Image by Claudio Schwartz, from Unsplash.com}